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“Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the grey twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.”
- Theodore Roosevelt
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Mark Lewis
Mark Lewis writes for Hoop Gurlz… he writes exceptionally well. Very insightful. Would I consider him a writer? Probably not. No disrespect intended. Mark’s a basketball coach. In my mind’s eye I still see him on the sideline, or out on the road recruiting…. minus the camera.
So many times in the recruiting process parents try to re-live their sports lives (or lack there of) through their child’s… HUGE MISTAKE. Mark’s insight is accurate and helpful. Mark says, “I’m not a parent…” I disagree. Biology may not have played a part in Mark’s “parenting,” but he “parented” many during his 20+ year coaching career.
I’m a parent. We have a daughter. Both my wife and I went off to college. I blew out my ankle twice. If I didn’t pick the school because I wanted to be there no matter what happened on the basketball court – I would have been miserable. My wife did transfer because she was miserable. We had both sides of the story. Mark is spot on.
I hope Mark is around and I remember his words in 2018 when our daughter is making her decision.
In… Remember who has the final decision, Mark shares a great perspective into the process of recruiting for parents. Who actually has the final decision is really important.
Parenting is tough. That fact is evidenced every day by rebellious kids and surrendering parents who just throw up their arms in exasperation. The approaches to guiding, teaching, preparing and supporting are varied and as daunting a challenge as any adult will face.
Now add to that the twists, turns and decisions that come with the recruiting of a prospective student-athlete and you’ve got a volatile mix that can tip the fragile relationship between a teenager and her parents.
I must confess, I’m not a parent. In fact my single greatest contribution to society may well be that I’ve added no offspring of mine to the population. However, I have had a ringside seat to a multitude of recruiting decisions through the years that have revealed some startling child-parent dynamics.
A lot of athletes go through the recruiting process with their parents at their side and come up with the right decision that makes sense for her future in the classroom, on the court and personally. The tug of war begins when the agenda of mom and dad start to override that of their daughter.
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